TC Staples

Another NaNoWriMo Has Come and Gone

2010-12-11T13:28:00.000-08:00

It has been a while...a long while since I posted on this blog. NaNoWriMo is now over for another year and I have another rough draft of a novel. I love November and the frantic writing to reach 50,000 words before the end of the month. I love that it pushes me to ignore the inner critic and just write. At times the writing can flow so easily that I feel I am taking dictation instead of making up a story. Other times, I struggle to find the next word.

This year’s NaNo novel is now resting in a file on my computer while I finish edits on 2008’s NaNo novel. Once that is in the hands of beta-readers, I will move on to editing this year’s novel. 2009’s novel will be last in line.

I did have a small meltdown a few days ago. I sent a few chapters out to some friends to get their feedback. Once the chapters were sent, I immediately wanted to recall them because I was convinced they had suddenly become garbage writing. In reality, I was too tired after November and really needed to take a break. I also picked up a new novel to read and loved the author’s description. In comparing my writing to hers, I found mine lacking. I eventually calmed down and realized that the author with the great description has two decades of experience more than I do.

I have taken a break from writing the last few days and have been catching up on things in my life that I let slide during November. Tomorrow morning I will be up bright and early (3:30 or 4:00) and at my desk editing my novel. All is well.

Blanket of Lace

2009-12-20T18:15:00.000-08:00

Cherry blossoms fall all around
covering the grass, they grace the ground.

Does the grass say, “remove your weight from me?
You don’t belong here, go back to your tree.”

Or, does the grass revel in the cool embrace
as a cherry blossom blanket of lace

protects its blades from the blazing sun
sheltering its green beauty ‘til the day is done?

And, when the pink blanket lifts on an evening breeze
does the grass whisper softly, “come again, if you please?”

Fear of Writing the Unknown

2009-12-17T08:09:00.000-08:00

I have been both conservative in my writing and stuck. The realization suddenly struck that, maybe, these two go hand in hand.

When I say conservative, I mean that I am afraid to step out and write what I don’t know. If I am not familiar with the setting, certain plot points, characters line of work, or whatever else I would need to research in order to write, then I am afraid to write it. This fear is that someone will call me on a mistake I have made because my research was not thorough enough or I somehow made an error in factual information.

So, I have been playing it safe and I have been stuck. This stuckness, I believe, is because playing it safe is no fun. I have a strong feeling that my stories are a bit flat because I am not stepping outside of my own reality. I feel at times I would be more comfortable writing a memoir because no one can argue that it isn’t my story. However, I don’t want to write a memoir, I want to write fiction. Good fiction. Interesting and engaging fiction.

Now that I realize why I am stuck, I must discern how I am going to find the courage to unstick myself and write the unknown.

Am I alone, or does anyone else deal with this same fear? What are your other fears?

Which WIP To Revise First?

2009-12-14T12:33:00.000-08:00

I am finally coming out of hibernation after this year’s NaNoWriMo. It seemed to take more out of me this year than it did last. However, it was still fun and I still made my word count. I also walked away with the rough draft of a novel that I am excited to see through to the finished and polished end.

This is my conundrum. I have my previous WIP which was last year’s NaNoWriMo novel. It had been sitting on the shelf for quite a few months due to an event that rendered me unable to write early this year. I was finally well into the revision process on that one when this November and NaNoWriMo arrived and I had to set it aside, again. Now, I have two novels in need of revision and I want to finish both. I am having trouble deciding which one to work on first. Both sets of characters are yelling at me because they want resolution.

Since we are midway into December, I have given myself a deadline of tonight to make this decision and get to writing. Wish me luck!

All of This Am I

2009-11-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

I finished NaNo just in time for Thanksgiving. I am excited to begin the rewrite process. However, before doing that, I am catching up on cleaning house, ignored correspondence, reading all of your wonderful blogs and myriad other things I let slide for the month.

I hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving Day! I am thankful for each and every one of you and cherish the friendship you offer.

Here is a little poem for your Turkey Day enjoyment!

All of This I am

Who am I?
I asked the wind.
It blew and blew and blew...
and then
on a cloudless day I asked the sky -
please, please tell me
Who am I?

The sun set and
day melted to night
I looked up to ask the stars
Who am I?

I asked the trees, I asked the earth.
Surely, somewhere I could find my worth.

I listened to the snow softly kissing the ground.
I listened to wild animals all around.

Then one day in a lake mirror smooth,
I saw my reflection and somehow I knew...

I am the wind, I am the sky
I am the stars, the trees am I
I am the snow softly kissing the ground
I am the wild animals all around.

There exists no boundary where I end
and where everything else begins.

I take a deep breath flinging my arms wide
so thankful to know -
All of This am I.

The Wind

2009-11-17T16:26:00.000-08:00

Trees bend their weight with the wind.
It pauses...they straighten and then
they bend and bend and bend
never knowing when it will end
or when the wind will come again.

I wrote this poem after the really strong winds we had last night. I was sitting and looking out the window at the trees. After it was written, I realized that it is an allegory for how I feel about my chronic pain and illness. The pain is what it is and will be with me until it isn’t any longer. I have managed to delink the pain from suffering. It is possible to have joy alongside pain.

Way Behind on NaNoWriMo - Yikes!

2009-11-06T07:57:00.000-08:00

I have been feeling too lousy and in too much pain to write the last few days. And, truthfully, I had a case of the poor me’s about it which helped set me behind. Poor me’s are now back under control. Pain, not so much, but that is okay.

After taking stock, I realize that I must write 6, 214 words to catch up. Whew! My goal is to work hard today through Sunday and be caught up by Monday. I can do it...I know I can.

I apologize that I have not been around to your blogs. I miss you and all of the wonderful things you write and hope to catch up on that after Sunday.

Well, putting on my writing hat and going to work! Everyone, have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!

NaNoWriMo is Underway!

2009-11-02T11:01:00.000-08:00

So, we had time change, Halloween and the beginning of NaNoWriMo all at the same time. Whew! I had a bit of last minute panic about my plot. I don’t know why because a couple of days before November 1st, I felt really good about it.

It is always difficult for me to get into the first few pages of a book. Once I am at about page five then I am rolling. This year I did not do nearly as detailed and outline or character sketches as I normally do. I want to see what will happen if I let the story unfold as I write it. I don’t even have names and ages for some of my characters. I sure hope they give them to me when I need them!

Right now I am about 400 words above the word count I needed for today. Tomorrow is going to be a bit crazy as I lost my mind and scheduled a couple of appointments. I usually try to keep November appointment free.

Anyway, all is going well so far. I hope everyone else who is participating in NaNo is well underway. Good luck to you!

NaNoWriMo Eve

2009-10-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

Trying to get my head together
and decide if and whether
I’d rather read fiction now
or a book that shows me how

to write a novel in thirty days
or should I just drop to my knees and pray
that I can do this again this year
and not just melt into a puddle of fear

at taking on this crazy goal
because in November I’ll be a mole
popping up for a bite to eat
or once in a while for a stiff drink

then slithering back to my desk
bleary eyed and out of breath
fingers curled in a hideous shape
from typing so many hours a day

brain cells snapping and firing at will.
Where in the hell are my writing skills?

So, back to the original question at hand
on the night before this craziness begins
do I relax and read a book for fun
or ramp up the stress before I’ve begun?

Fibromyalgia

2009-10-31T06:47:00.000-07:00

Clothes hurt skimming over skin,
muscles ache deep within.
Forecast calls for clouds and rain,
another day of fibro pain.
The weather once was my friend...
sun, rain, snow and then
from out of nowhere this illness came.
Now barometric pressure rules the day.

The Wolf

2009-10-30T08:54:00.000-07:00

These aches and pains will they ever cease?
All the drugs should kill the beast...
this wolf inside with his teeth bared,
with this wolf my body I share.
He’s become an unwelcome guest
and day after day I do my best
to remember that I am not this disease.
But these aches and pains will the ever cease?

Trick or Treat

2009-10-28T09:33:00.000-07:00

As October breathes its final breath,
young ones don their scary dress
to run door to door laughing with glee
shouting the words “trick or treat.”

Home they head toting bags of treasure,
to sit on the floor and eye with pleasure
piles of candy and goodies to eat
earned with a trick on All Hallows’ Eve.

The Quiet Little Girl

2009-10-26T11:16:00.000-07:00

From out of the depths of my soul it does come
and into the abyss of emotions I plunge.
Word after word falling on the page
pouring out emotions of love, fear and rage.

My hand and pen guided by a force unknown.
My mind completely immersed in the flow
of feelings that shock as they’re ripped from inside,
naked and truthful I can no longer hide
behind the facade of the quiet little girl
all the memories begin to unfurl.

Releasing the Pain Mindfully

2009-10-25T06:19:00.000-07:00

Pain cells screaming head to toe
muscle cramps won’t let go
Suffering, suffering from this pain
grant me courage for another way

pain is an event within the body
suffering’s the name given it emotionally

but a way of life called mindfulness
allows the experience of pain to be less
Let it go, let it go...detach from the pain
It’s just a sensation, don’t give it a name

Look all around at what you see
a flower, a bird, a sunrise, a tree
stay in this moment, in this now
releasing the pain, this is how

I have been using Mindfulness Meditation and living in the Now to help with my pain. Why didn’t I learn this years ago? It really does make a difference.

If anyone else is dealing with chronic pain, I would be happy to explain more of how it works. Feel free to email me at tamara(at)desiretoheal(dot)com.

Who Am I?

2009-10-22T17:58:00.000-07:00

Who am I meant to be?
A question worthy of pondering.
Was I placed on this earth for a reason?
If so, what is it, I’m wondering.

The things that I do feel frivolous;
certainly not worthy of merit.
If I have a higher purpose,
I sure wish God would share it.

It seems I walk through my days
stitching minute up tight to minute.
Hours fly by in a flash
What have I got to show for it?

If it isn’t yet quite clear to you,
then I will shout it as loud as I can...
I don’t have the faintest idea
who the hell I am.

Schedule for NaNoWriMo

2009-10-22T16:49:00.000-07:00

I have always been able to get up very early and have never been able to stay up late. Funny how this leaves me feeling out of step with the rest of the world.

When I was a kid, I was always the one that would wake at 5 a.m. during the summer to go outside and sit with my grandfather. We would be the only ones up at that time and it was so special. They lived on a lake and we would watch the fish jumping and the birds beginning to wake and look for food. I loved my time sitting and talking to my grandfather.

This getting up early habit has continued throughout my adult years. I have negotiated with a couple of employers over the years to allow me to come in at 5 a.m. and leave at 3 p.m. thus avoiding rush hour traffic. But more than avoiding traffic, they were getting me at my best time of day when I was the most alert and creative.

When I began writing, I quickly realized that getting up at 3-4 a.m. was when I was the most productive. Straight out of bed, pajamas still on, hair uncombed, I was free from my inner critic. The words flew from my fingertips.

Then, we got a new puppy. This threw the house into chaos. When she gets up with me, which she invariably does, our older dog also gets up. The two of them harass, bark and generally disturb my writing time. Not to mention, they end up waking my husband who likes to stay up until midnight and then sleep a bit later.

Now, NaNoWriMo is coming up in a few days and I really MUST get up early AND be undisturbed to make my daily word quota. I am not sure how, or if, this is going to work. Fingers crossed that the puppy has calmed down enough in the last three months so that she does not bug me to play toss as soon as I am out of bed. The older dog? I don’t know what he is going to do. I hope he has realized that getting up at 3 a.m. is not that much fun.

This is going to be an interesting November and NaNoWriMo. Just remember...if I don’t make my word count, it is not my fault!!!

People Pleasing

2009-10-22T08:58:00.000-07:00

This morning I looked in the mirror and had the thought that I am going to be 47 next year. That is getting dang close to 50!

I asked myself how much longer I am going to live my life so concerned about what others think of me and what I do. Do I really want to leave this planet having run in circles trying to please everyone else and never having done what makes me truly happy? And, by the way, what the heck does make me truly happy?

It is time for me to make a choice of how I am going to live my life. I am carrying too many layers of people-pleasing that keep me from knowing what my true passion is.

I love writing novels. However, I tie myself in knots worrying about whether that is a worthwhile purpose. I also find myself too concerned with the subject matter of my novels instead of just freely writing what wants to be written.

My other interests are gluten free cooking, reading, painting and working towards my theology degree. Where in there am I giving back to the world? This is a question that plagues me.

I think all people-pleasers must have trouble knowing what their true passion or purpose in life is. I think it is difficult to sort out what we are doing for ourselves and what we are doing for the approval of others. It is absolutely right to care about the feelings of others. It is the opinion of others that shouldn’t weigh so heavily in decisions pleasers make.

I will be spending some quality time with these questions over the next few days. I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

Fall Leaves

2009-10-15T13:06:00.000-07:00

I was looking at the trees yesterday and feeling sorry for the leaves that grow all spring and summer just to die in the fall.

A few yellow leaves dust the ground
all the rest can still be found
tenaciously clinging to their limbs
hoping for no strong winds
to send them floating to the earth
where composting becomes all they’re worth.

I Am Complete

2009-10-13T09:26:00.000-07:00

The cool breeze blows through my hair;
the birds are singing and the trees are budding.
All around nature reaches out to touch me.
Nothing disturbs the sounds of nature
except for my shoes hitting the concrete.
My stride is long as I run along the highway of life.
I am alone and it feels good.
I am happy with myself and filled with peace and tranquility.
As I cross a bridge, I reflect on emotional bridges I have crossed
and remember all the pillars that supported me.
I am free as the wind.
I alone control my destiny.
I choose to sing like the birds and bud like the trees.
I become a pillar to help the next person over the bridges of life.
I am complete.

Stuff and Such

2009-10-06T13:38:00.000-07:00

I thought an update might be in order since I haven’t posted for a bit.

First, my lupus and fibromyalgia have been flaring and the pain is not leaving me a lot of typing time beyond working on my novel. I am trying to stick to a schedule of rewriting a chapter a day. So far, I am fairly close to that goal but I have to type for small spaces of time and then take a rest before I can type more. Thank goodness I have the flexibility to do this. I did consider voice recognition software but I just can’t speak my story. There is something magical that happens when I put my fingers on the keyboard.

I just finished rereading my first five chapters and I feel like something is missing. The prose is a bit boring. I have a feeling that I need to spice it up a bit either with better description or wittier dialogue. Maybe both? It is something I feel I need to get a handle on before I proceed any further in my rewrite.

Good news is that this morning we had Online Northwest install wireless internet access. We live in the country and until now have had satellite since cable and DSL are not available to us. It looks like Online Northwest will just about double our internet speed. This is going to make online life so much more fun. The installation guy was wonderful. Our house is so surrounded by trees that he could not get a signal from a dish mounted on our house. So, he installed it up in one of our trees. So far, it is working great!

I signed up for NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) a couple of days ago. If any of my readers are Wrimos and want to find me, my username is TCStaples. I am very excited for November 1st and beginning work on my new novel. If my pain calms down a bit, I would love to bump my rewrite to two chapters a day and try to finish my current WIP before beginning the new one. If not, I will try to manage both at once if I am able.

That is about all the news from me. I hope that your writing is going wonderfully and that you are enjoying some beautiful fall weather.

Tales of Your Day

2009-09-21T10:40:00.000-07:00

My dear,
shall I poor you a glass
of your favorite red wine?
You can regale me with
tales of your day.
No wine for me,
thank you.
I will drink in your words
and become intoxicated
at the thought of having a life
worthy of discussion.

Point of View

2009-09-20T09:38:00.000-07:00

What a difference a point of view makes. In all of the analyzing of my novel and dealing with my fears about writing, there was still something that was keeping me stuck. I couldn’t quite figure it out. I love my story and I love my characters. However, something just wasn’t working.

It finally hit me yesterday. I needed to be writing in first person from the point of view of my female protagonist. How could I have missed this for over a year? It now seems so obvious. She is in every scene. One of the most important elements of the novel is the way she grows and changes in the face of tragedy and the revealing of unspeakable family secrets. For this to happen, I really need to get inside her head. I need to be able to share her thoughts, feelings and fears. I now see I can do this so much more effectively in first person.

This has turned around the entire way I am telling the story. It allows me to more quickly get to the precipitating event that begins to bring the secrets into the light.

I have a lot of work ahead of me but I am re-energized about the book. This is going to seriously mess up my schedule for completing it especially given that I have to pull off soon and complete my outline for this year’s NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) that begins November 1st. I am hoping that I can juggle them both and write the new novel in the mornings and work on the old in the afternoons. Since I have never tried working on two at once before, I don’t know if this will pan out, or not.

In the meantime, I will get as far as I can on converting my current novel to first person. I have trashed the old prologue and written a new one this morning. I like it so much better and I think it is more likely to grab the reader right away.

Letting Fear Go

2009-09-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

I subscribe to a daily message from Neale Donald Walsch and just received this one in my email. It is so apropos to what I have been feeling lately that I had to share it! I have a feeling that I am not the only one that could benefit from this message today.

On this day of your life, Tamara, I believe God wants you to know...

...that it is never safe to look into the future with eyes
of fear.

Edward H.Harriman said that, and he was right. Nothing
is fearful lest thinking make it so. I can honestly say that
probably 95% of the things I was afraid of, it turned out
I had no reason to be.

And even if the thing you fear happens...so what? Again,
95% of the time your world is not going to fall apart, your
life will not be in danger. So drop fear by the wayside.
Just... let it go. Then make way for a surprising tomorrow.

Analyzing My Novel

2009-09-17T10:36:00.000-07:00

I have tried several techniques to try to assure myself that my plot is well thought out. After reading through the entire manuscript a few days ago, I wrote each plot point down on an index card. I laid the cards out and looked at them to see if the order made sense and if each action added to the story. Next, I looked at my characters to be sure they all had a genuine purpose in moving the story forward. I feel good about most of what I have written. I do have one plot element that I am not sure about. I have taken it out and put it back in several times. Currently it is in.

At this point, I think I have done all that I can in the way of analysis. It is time to begin polishing the prose. It still feels like barely controlled chaos to me but maybe that is just the way it is going to feel at this stage. It is like I can see it all coming together in my mind but making it happen seems overwhelming. Maybe, too, I am just afraid because I am coming up on the finish line and then I am going to have to let someone read the dang thing.

I know one problem I am having is that I don’t have it delineated into chapters yet. If I did, I could take one chapter at a time and polish it and maybe it would feel more doable. So, maybe that is the next step. I need to create my chapters. First, I have to figure out why that seems so difficult. Hmmm...

A Very Irritating Trait

2009-09-14T11:22:00.000-07:00

One of the most frustrating struggles I have within myself is always feeling like I should be doing something more noble with my time. This is seriously getting in the way of my creativity and novel writing. Not only must I quiet that critical voice that tells me I can’t write worth a damn. But, I also have to deal with the voice that says I shouldn’t be writing novels in the first place. This voice feels I should be writing some type of “helpful” nonfiction versus frivolous fiction.

In attempting to reason with this judgmental part of myself, I remind it that reading novels was one of the things that saw me through a difficult childhood. Novels have been where I turned through the years when I needed a break from stressful jobs or relationships. Novels have provided me hours of enjoyment and comfort. However, the voice yammers on.

On top of being quite annoying, I think the voice is causing a low level depression because I am constantly dealing with this inner turmoil and cannot just enjoy writing my novel. I waste numerous hours going off on what-I-should-be-doing tangents instead of being productive with my writing time.

The final kicker is that the voice feels that, if I am going to insist on writing fiction then, I should be writing literary versus popular fiction. I prefer reading popular fiction most of the time and I prefer writing popular fiction. Therefore, writing literary fiction is not an option.

It seems that I must always make life more difficult for myself. It is a very irritating trait!

The Joy of Unexplained Pain

2009-09-11T12:13:00.000-07:00

For the last two or three years, I have been getting stabbing pains in the middle joint of my middle finger on my left hand. The pain lasts a few seconds but it is so bad that it takes my breath and gives me chills all over my body. I asked my doctor on Maui about it once and he didn’t have any explanation. Sometimes it happens a few times a day but then it will go weeks and not do it at all.

About a month ago I had the same kind of pain in my left knee. It happened a few times within one day and has not returned. Then, about two weeks ago, I began having the same pain in my right foot. Again, it happened a few times and went away. However, this time I decided it was time to get myself to a rheumatologist. I have not seen a rheumatologist since we moved from California about ten years ago. My family doctor has been able to manage my lupus and fibromyalgia and there was not a rheumatologist on Maui anyway. I have an appointment with a doctor in Portland in a couple of weeks.

This morning, the stabbing pain began in my foot and lasted for over two hours. I didn’t think a pain pill would really work but took one anyway. It did nothing. I had stabbing pains that hurt so bad for over two hours that I my stomach was upset and I had constant chill bumps all over my body. After two plus hours, it all of the sudden stopped. It is the strangest thing and I have no idea what is going on.

I did try to get my appointment with the new doc moved up but no dice. I am on a waiting list if he has a cancellation. For now, I am pain free. However, it left me exhausted and my brain is fried. Here’s hoping the pain doesn’t return before the 24th which is when I see the new rheumatologist.

Simi Apologizes

2009-09-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

Simi, our 8 month old puppy, seems to be experiencing the doggie equivalent of the terrible-twos. Undoubtedly our utter lack of discipline is at the core of this problem. We are in the process of re-establishing ourselves as owners and rulers of the house.

Simi is in the process of atoning for her "little" indiscretion as evidenced by the photo below.

Time Untethered

2009-09-05T05:47:00.000-07:00

The time between dusk and dawn is my favorite time of day.
I love the nighttime hours when the sun has gone away.
As the moon slips quietly from its home behind a cloud.
Dropping into peaceful slumber, what will I dream about?
Will I dance upon the air or perform acrobatic feats,
that in the light of day would be impossible for me?
Will I travel to heaven to give my grandma and grandpa a hug?
Or, visit others I have lost and remind them of my love?
In this time untethered, whatever I choose to do,
I hope it makes me smile come morning... as the sun slides into view.

Someone Stole My Breasts

2009-09-03T12:07:00.000-07:00

This poem was inspired by a post my friend Corina wrote. I was so self conscious about my size, or lack thereof, for years. All I can say is thank God you don’t always get what you pray for when you are young!

Someone stole the breasts that I was meant to have.
Or, maybe in chest size, I took after my dad.
Year after year, I waited for them to appear,
they are still so small I don’t need a brassiere.
I can run down the street with nary a bounce.
They probably weigh less than an ounce.
Sagging is something that will never effect me.
No, my breasts will never hang down to my knees.
So, concerning the breasts I never had,
I guess the good outweighs the bad.
To whoever is walking around with my breasts:
you can keep them ‘cuz I am happy with my chest!

Completed a Reading of My Manuscript and I Am Encouraged

2009-09-03T05:41:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I completed a reading my manuscript beginning to end. I now realize that it was fear that had me stuck and unable to move forward with rewrites... fear that it would be a bunch of useless drivel and I really should not even attempt to be a novelist.

Well, I am shocked. It needs LOTS of work. But, I am surprised at what I have written. I have some good stuff here (at least I think it has merit). I don't even remember writing half of it and I am amazed at all of the details I have put in the story already.

I had been procrastinating on reading it because every time I sat down with my manuscript and red pen, I just became instantly overwhelmed. Finally, I found a book, “The Screenwriter’s Workbook” by Syd Field, that said to read it front to back with no pen. Do not make notes or mark it up in any way. Just read it and get a feel for the story that you have written.

It worked. I was able to get through it and became more excited about it the more I read. I still love the plot and the characters. The structure of the story is there. I need to flesh it out more and make a few changes, add more dialogue and that sort of thing.

I have a long road ahead of me to get this rewritten and then let some friends read it and see what they think. But, I am really encouraged!

The Truth About Worrying

2009-09-01T12:47:00.000-07:00

Embrace life like you will never die.
Ground your feet on the earth but reach for the sky.
Laugh like worries don’t exist.
Enjoy your health like you’ll never be sick.

Yes, there may come a day
when shadows paint your life with gray.
But, to anticipate these times of bad,
will paste pallor over the good you have.

You won’t be any more prepared
than if you’d been caught unaware.
All worrying ever really does
is distract you from the joy that was.

My Dream - A Poem

2009-09-01T11:17:00.000-07:00

I didn’t go to college or earn a degree.
I didn’t join a company and become a VP.
I’m not a doctor, lawyer or teacher.
I’m not an actress, athlete or preacher.
But, I have a dream deep inside,
and from others this dream I hide.
I want to be a writer weaving words together;
I want to write novels that are bound in leather.
I struggle on from day to day
trying to understand what I have to say.
What I write now comes out in rhyme;
but, I certainly hope there will be a time
when my inner novelist finally breaks free
plotting stories that you can’t wait to read.

2009-08-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

I wrote a story about domestic violence and it is graphic so trigger warnings apply.

You can find it here if you still wish to read it.

I am staying busy writing when I am not wrestling with my fear, procrastination or self-doubt. This morning I had a plot idea for a novel which I will probably use in November for NaNoWriMo.

2009-08-21T07:25:00.001-07:00

I was thinking about depression and how it can sneak up on you. Then, if you don't pay attention, it becomes more and more insistent that it be noticed. Here is a link to a poem that I posted on Associated Content about it.

Don't worry, I am not feeling depressed nor am I taking antidepressants at the moment. I was more remembering past depressive episodes.

NaNo has left me with lessons and depression

2008-12-02T11:29:00.000-08:00

After knowing about it for two or three years and hearing Chris Baty, the founder, speak once, I finally signed up for NaNoWriMo this year. If anyone doesn’t know what that is, it is National Novel Writing Month. It happens every November and to “win” you must write a 50,000 word novel.

I began this blog to have a place to share my thoughts about my writing and my opinions of daily life in general. Before NaNoWriMo I had begun writing about three different novels and abandoned them all. Since NaNo, I think I finally developed the discipline to write each day and not give up so easily when the words aren’t coming.

In the beginning I was quite nervous about my ability to write an entire novel. Well, in truth it is just a rough draft of a novel. So, I set a schedule to wake up at 4 a.m. every day and write my 1,667 words before I did anything else. The first few days I struggled to pound out my word quota. However, once I was rolling, I began to write as many as 4,000+ words on some days. As time went on, my characters became friends and the story took on a life of its own.

I “won” NaNoWriMo by completing my 50,000 words on Wednesday, November 26th. It was a wonderfully fun accomplishment. In fact, I am now quite depressed (seriously) that NaNo does not happen again for a year.

The most important lesson I learned from participating was that I love to write fiction. Immediately after finishing, I set my novel aside for a few days. Now it is time to go back to it and begin rewrite and then editing. Hopefully when that is done it is worthy of being read by someone other than myself. I am also on the lookout for a new plot so it can begin cooking in the back of my mind and will be ready for writing when I finish my current work.