Another NaNoWriMo Has Come and Gone

It has been a while...a long while since I posted on this blog. NaNoWriMo is now over for another year and I have another rough draft of a novel. I love November and the frantic writing to reach 50,000 words before the end of the month. I love that it pushes me to ignore the inner critic and just write. At times the writing can flow so easily that I feel I am taking dictation instead of making up a story. Other times, I struggle to find the next word.

This year’s NaNo novel is now resting in a file on my computer while I finish edits on 2008’s NaNo novel. Once that is in the hands of beta-readers, I will move on to editing this year’s novel. 2009’s novel will be last in line.

I did have a small meltdown a few days ago. I sent a few chapters out to some friends to get their feedback. Once the chapters were sent, I immediately wanted to recall them because I was convinced they had suddenly become garbage writing. In reality, I was too tired after November and really needed to take a break. I also picked up a new novel to read and loved the author’s description. In comparing my writing to hers, I found mine lacking. I eventually calmed down and realized that the author with the great description has two decades of experience more than I do.

I have taken a break from writing the last few days and have been catching up on things in my life that I let slide during November. Tomorrow morning I will be up bright and early (3:30 or 4:00) and at my desk editing my novel. All is well.

Blanket of Lace

Cherry blossoms fall all around
covering the grass, they grace the ground.

Does the grass say, “remove your weight from me?
You don’t belong here, go back to your tree.”

Or, does the grass revel in the cool embrace
as a cherry blossom blanket of lace

protects its blades from the blazing sun
sheltering its green beauty ‘til the day is done?

And, when the pink blanket lifts on an evening breeze
does the grass whisper softly, “come again, if you please?”

Fear of Writing the Unknown

I have been both conservative in my writing and stuck. The realization suddenly struck that, maybe, these two go hand in hand.

When I say conservative, I mean that I am afraid to step out and write what I don’t know. If I am not familiar with the setting, certain plot points, characters line of work, or whatever else I would need to research in order to write, then I am afraid to write it. This fear is that someone will call me on a mistake I have made because my research was not thorough enough or I somehow made an error in factual information.

So, I have been playing it safe and I have been stuck. This stuckness, I believe, is because playing it safe is no fun. I have a strong feeling that my stories are a bit flat because I am not stepping outside of my own reality. I feel at times I would be more comfortable writing a memoir because no one can argue that it isn’t my story. However, I don’t want to write a memoir, I want to write fiction. Good fiction. Interesting and engaging fiction.

Now that I realize why I am stuck, I must discern how I am going to find the courage to unstick myself and write the unknown.

Am I alone, or does anyone else deal with this same fear? What are your other fears?

Which WIP To Revise First?

I am finally coming out of hibernation after this year’s NaNoWriMo. It seemed to take more out of me this year than it did last. However, it was still fun and I still made my word count. I also walked away with the rough draft of a novel that I am excited to see through to the finished and polished end.

This is my conundrum. I have my previous WIP which was last year’s NaNoWriMo novel. It had been sitting on the shelf for quite a few months due to an event that rendered me unable to write early this year. I was finally well into the revision process on that one when this November and NaNoWriMo arrived and I had to set it aside, again. Now, I have two novels in need of revision and I want to finish both. I am having trouble deciding which one to work on first. Both sets of characters are yelling at me because they want resolution.

Since we are midway into December, I have given myself a deadline of tonight to make this decision and get to writing. Wish me luck!

All of This Am I

I finished NaNo just in time for Thanksgiving. I am excited to begin the rewrite process. However, before doing that, I am catching up on cleaning house, ignored correspondence, reading all of your wonderful blogs and myriad other things I let slide for the month.

I hope you all have a beautiful Thanksgiving Day! I am thankful for each and every one of you and cherish the friendship you offer.

Here is a little poem for your Turkey Day enjoyment!


All of This I am

Who am I?
I asked the wind.
It blew and blew and blew...
and then
on a cloudless day I asked the sky -
please, please tell me
Who am I?

The sun set and
day melted to night
I looked up to ask the stars
Who am I?

I asked the trees, I asked the earth.
Surely, somewhere I could find my worth.

I listened to the snow softly kissing the ground.
I listened to wild animals all around.

Then one day in a lake mirror smooth,
I saw my reflection and somehow I knew...

I am the wind, I am the sky
I am the stars, the trees am I
I am the snow softly kissing the ground
I am the wild animals all around.

There exists no boundary where I end
and where everything else begins.

I take a deep breath flinging my arms wide
so thankful to know -
All of This am I.

The Wind

Trees bend their weight with the wind.
It pauses...they straighten and then
they bend and bend and bend
never knowing when it will end
or when the wind will come again.

I wrote this poem after the really strong winds we had last night. I was sitting and looking out the window at the trees. After it was written, I realized that it is an allegory for how I feel about my chronic pain and illness. The pain is what it is and will be with me until it isn’t any longer. I have managed to delink the pain from suffering. It is possible to have joy alongside pain.

Way Behind on NaNoWriMo - Yikes!

I have been feeling too lousy and in too much pain to write the last few days. And, truthfully, I had a case of the poor me’s about it which helped set me behind. Poor me’s are now back under control. Pain, not so much, but that is okay.

After taking stock, I realize that I must write 6, 214 words to catch up. Whew! My goal is to work hard today through Sunday and be caught up by Monday. I can do it...I know I can.

I apologize that I have not been around to your blogs. I miss you and all of the wonderful things you write and hope to catch up on that after Sunday.

Well, putting on my writing hat and going to work! Everyone, have a wonderful Friday and a great weekend!